Sherlock is an amazing show with an abundance of linked media, including John’s blog, where he writes up the case notes and important milestones in his life.

What many casual viewers don’t know, however, is that this blog is heavily edited and censored. Luckily, I have managed to salvage some unedited posts from the blog of Dr. John H. Watson.

31 January
My New Flatmate

So, last night I went to look at the flat. It’s pretty decent actually. TBH the flat could be a total shitshow and I wouldn’t care, because all I was truly looking at was Sherlock’s mouth (occasionally flickering back to his eyes).
I’m not gay, but if I was, I’d go for it. Better go find an average woman to pump and dump – wouldn’t want one of my two friends to become suspicious.

12 March
The Woman

I can’t say much about the actual case because of the Official Secrets Act but the country was nearly brought to its knees by one person – Irene Adler. All I can say is that I hate her. I hate her and I don’t know why. Sherlock seemed to like her; even asked for her phone after she died was put in witness protection in America. Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes. All I know is that my late-night cry-wanking has become more frantic and less casual.

20 April
A New Beginning

It feels odd. Coming back here. This blog. I need to move on from Sherlock. I’ve been remembering the past and crying into my soup a lot lately, but I’ve decided to move forward; craft a new beginning. Sure, nobody will ever compare to the alabaster god that was my former flatmate, but I’ll find someone to fill his place so that I don’t die alone. I know there’s a fairly average lady out there for me.

7 November
The Empty Hearse

Well. So yes. You’ll have seen the news. #sherlocklives. I’m pretty mad about it. I mean, I cried and was fairly suicidal for a full two years, but LOL, right?! Happens to everyone. I can’t dwell on the past. I forgot how hot his lips were. It’s nice to be going on cases again. I missed the adrenaline coursing through my penis veins.

11 August (I’ve actually given up keeping credible records of the actual date. YOLO)
The Sign of Three

Wow!!!!!!!!! What a day!!!!!! That was the best wedding ever!!!!!! JJ this is Sherlock trying to copy John’s juvenile teenage-girl-like diary entries. Him and Mary are on sex holiday. I think I’m dead inside LOL LMFAO ROFLCOPTER! I was going to share a video of the wedding, but I accidentally deleted all the wedding files. Oops. Whatever I’m high as fuck right now. “For a case”.
K cool.
Sherlock Holmes
Consulting Detective and Always A Bridesmaid Never A Bride Best Man


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