Hollywood loves sequels. Since Toy Story 4 was announced, I’ve been thinking about some other films that deserve the same treatment. I’m tired of the numerous superhero movie and Taken sequels, so here are a few of my prudent suggestions:

  • The Fault in Our Stars 2: The Ghost of Gus
    In this amazing sequel, Gus, who died in the original movie (that isn’t even a spoiler), returns as a ghost to haunt Hazel, causing her to question her sanity and finally culminates in her parents putting her in a psych ward to live out the rest of her limited days.
  • 5cream
    The fifth movie in the Scream franchise, this film will deal with the problems of being a film within a film within a film within a film, revealing the meta of the meta, making it all very meta.
  • Sex and the City 3
    The third instalment in the riveting line of Sex and the City movies shows us just how boring a bunch of women who are over-eager to discuss their sex lives can truly be. There’s alcohol, men, lots of talking and lots of voice-over. A guaranteed thrill, all in all.
  • Taken 3(4?)
    I know I said I was tired of the Taken sequels, but when I really, really consider it, what the world needs is another Taken movie.
  • The Shawshank Redemption 2: Redeemed and Ready to Party
    The long-awaited sequel to the classic Oscar-nominated film shows Andy (Tim Robbins) and Red (Morgan Freeman) living large following their bachelor misadventures on the beach we left them at the end of the first film. Think American Pie meets The Green Mile.
  • War Horse 2: Because the First One Wasn’t Bad Enough
    I’m sure there are many people out there who enjoyed War Horse and didn’t wish that a black hole would swallow them up after 15 minutes of enduring it, but I wouldn’t count myself among one of them. For those who did appreciate this Steven Spielberg-directed snooze-fest of Lincoln proportions, I bring you War Horse 2: Because the First One Wasn’t Bad Enough, in which the amount of time you sit through a horse ploughing the land is doubled and the amount of sympathy you have for any single character is halved.
  • Her: The Prequel You Never Asked For
    The only thing more spellbinding than a sequel is a prequel. They’re always soo clever and who doesn’t watch every single movie and think, “I wish I could see what happened before the exciting plot began.” In the anticipated prequel to Her, Spike Jonze pieces together all the excessive montage shots of the protagonist’s previous relationship with the Rooney Mara character that appeared in Her and still manages to make a full-length feature.
  • Every Disney Movie Ever
    Disney loves to release sequels to their most popular films as straight-to-DVD money-makers, but I think cinematic releases would be even better. I’d love a chance to see Simba’s daughter and the complete disregard for the themes of the first Pocahontas in their respective sequels on the big screen.
  • Gump & Co.
    The author of Forrest Gump actually did pen this sequel, which was laughed out of Hollywood considered, but ultimately rejected. The novel sees Forrest continuing to accomplish all sorts of similar feats, such as knocking down the Berlin wall. That sounds delightful and in no way a desecration of the original.
  • Dumb and Dumberererer
    With the release of Dumb and Dumber To, it’s difficult not to start capitalising on a third instalment, because, from cringing through the trailer of the sequel alone, one can immediately ascertain that the below-slapstick humour that barely worked in 1994 is going to work very well twenty years later, when there is a greater demand for smarter comedies.
  • Psycho: The Explanation Continues
    There have been a few unsuccessful re-imaginings and sequels to this Hitchcock classic, but this sequel would be different. Remember the last scene of Psycho, where everybody stands around explaining what just happened in the entire movie, because audiences were far too stupid to understand it for themselves? This is a whole movie of just that, for those who still need further explanation. I know I do. Guy with mother issues and taxidermy fetish murders women? This requires far more psychiatrists explaining it in a room.

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