SHOCKING! Oprah Winfrey Exposed!

SHOCKING! Oprah Winfrey Exposed!

Recently, every unsavoury website I visit (and by “unsavoury”, I’m talking the streaming TV show variety, not the NSFW variety) has been boasting the most profound, alluring advert ever to grace the internet. You might have seen it by now. The headline reads “SHOCKING!Oprah Winfrey! Oprah Been Exposed FOR TRICKING THE WORLD!She Had Lied For Years!” Just to prove that my grammar is still top notch and I’m merely quoting – and also to provide you with the engaging concept itself – here it is:

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Don Draper, eat your heart out, right?

Anyway, my first thought upon seeing this (after the appreciation, of course) was to wonder what Oprah has been TRICKING THE WORLD about For Years! Here are some of the things I expected I might find if I clicked the link (which I did not do because I prefer the enigma):

  • She is actually a cat person!
  • Her and Gayle are just friends!
  • That isn’t even her real face!
  • What else do people lie about?
  • All those years, she was rubbing Vick’s under her eyes and fake crying!
  • She isn’t really rooting for every single celebrity that she says she’s rooting for!

What do you think Oprah’s big secret is?